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Searching for gold out in this cold, hands calloused and rugged, Carrying all this luggage, Unable to take a pause, Tight drawn jaws, Gritting my teeth, Feeling the defeat, But still I seek, A momentary pique, Of fullness, Of a morsel, Of liquid, Of normal, Demons come in all shades, Adversities come in cascades, My soul sashays, In full blown shades of greys, I’m a mute with a voice, Muted no choice, I steal seconds for my tears, Save closet space for my fears, Fierce countenance for my protection, Tough attitude my terrified projection, Can’t seem to find a second to really see me, Understand and free me, I’m hemorrhaging internally, Holding up nicely externally, Conflicted inside in a raging battle, Mounted and straddled, With all your responsibilities, No mama no daddy, But children see, My siblings need me, Seven months, two eight, and I’m nine years old, Out of body watching my life implode, Do what I have to I must, In me my siblings trust, I’ve been their everything since six, Turning mortar into bricks, Too young to be a part of society, Old enough to be misused by society, If you get my drift, I hope your heart shift, But let’s be real, No one really cares for what another goes through, Unless they can reach in and extract something useful too, Leaving one a little more empty every time, Until there’s nothing left but a dead vine, I dont have the heart to watch them cry hungrily to sleep, Though the price is steep, I sacrifice myself so they can be, Hiding behind a smile all this twisted debris, Taking on all of our burdens, Just so they can emerge from behind the curtains, With a chance at a kind of childhood, To hold on to their innocence, With little to no incidents, I give what I can at such a young age, It’s not like I can walk out there and earn a wage, But adults can take my word to defile me, Use what they can offer to wow and beguile me, Too young to be a part of society, But old enough to consent to the abuse of society, I’ve learned to put on a brave face for the little ones, I can’t let them peep into the abyss, Where I exist, To better there existence, Out of love I’ve developed a perseverance, A warped sorded resistance, I’ve emptied me out to become their cocoon, A protective shell where they can swoon, A place of solace for their little hearts, To watch them fly with a clean start, People may say bad things about what I do, But they can’t kill this love inside, That pushes me to strive, A long time ago my heart and mind allied, Like the army I promised to be the best I can be, To set their little souls free

Sacrifice